Sneaking Halloween Candy

Sneaking Halloween Candy

Pamela Longbottom tried to sneak a jawbreaker from her eight-year-old’s bag after returning home from trick-or-treating. Biting into the hard candy provoked a scream of pain, however, and an unexpected trip to their dentist. Having purchased dental coverage from a California Health Insurance agent eventually allowed her to smile again.

Pamela Longbottom, a single mom, decided to go out trick-or treating with Morticia, her pale-looking eight-year-old. She was pleasantly surprised when the choice of her daughter’s name was greeted positively for once by one of the family’s more astute neighbors. “Oh, I see you’re out with little Morticia,” Mrs. Joan Doe observed brightly, “on All Hallow’s Eve that seems right somehow.” The Doe’s were related to another family of Does down the block, John and Jane and their children Jack, Jubilee, and Tittera, who was in Morticia’s class at school. Doe was such an unusual name, Pamela mused. It was at Joan Doe’s house when several jawbreakers were dropped blithely into Morticia’s bag, as the child flashed a jack o’ lantern smile through a forest of mixed fang-like teeth, baby and permanent.

The trouble began at home when Pamela started inspecting her daughter’s treats. When Morticia wasn’t looking, she stole a raspberry jawbreaker, hoping that her cherub wouldn’t notice. Pamela popped the hard candy into her gob, and stupidly bit down. “Owwh!” she screamed. Morticia was horrified. “You stole one of my candies!” she bawled. “You’re sick!”

Pamela shot her progeny a look of sheer pain.

The next morning she visited her dentist, and thanked her lucky stars (she was into astrology) that the dentist’s bill for $467.52 would be covered under the comprehensive dental plan she’d purchased a few months earlier from a California Health Insurance agent.

Back at home, Pamela was watching enviously as her daughter sucked the remaining jawbreakers, raspberry, strawberry, and peach, savoring them with her mouth partially open, each time, it seemed, just to irritate her mother as Pamela was preparing a grocery list. Morticia would draw out the sucking and mouth movements in the manner of a feeding spider, making obnoxious noises and tongue gestures simultaneously. The display was hideous and finally, Pamela who was very distracted lost her patience. “Stop it Morticia!” she screamed.

“I will Mommy,” Morticia said, “but don’t you wish that Halloween came more than once a year?”

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